Tuesday 4 March 2014

#Once upon a time - Alchemy. Part Two.

Once upon a time .....

I followed him up the stairs. He didn't smell too good, smelt of fags and ash; over his top lip, strands from his moustache - a fat wiry brush - hung, curling, tinted in a colour swatch of nicotine yellow. A long term smoker. Forty a day probably. Every other step, a cough and a wheeze, an asthmatic rattle all the way to the top. I remember only counting twelve steps.

'So this is it, ' he said, clearing his throat in the ball of his fist, 'take a look around.'

First a bed room, strange angles. Then the bath room, nice size, loving the position of the window. Another bedroom, this will be the master. And through a final door into a vacuum of space and light. That's when I knew, decided right there on the spot. Why wasn't Younger Partner with me?  The roof had been scooped out like a pumpkin; wooden beams crossed the ceiling and where suitcases and roof racks and boxes of bric-a-brac would once have been stored was a mezzanine kitchen. An eat-in kitchen in the roof? Now I loved that idea...  


A first property bought together. The first night; glasses of champagne, fish and chips out of the paper, a gift of chocolate cake from the neighbours downstairs. The joy of discovering a new area; Chiswick, Shepherds Bush, Turnham Green. The best Thai restaurant on Askew Road.

We lived here for seven years.

This wasn't any ordinary flat, this was a crucible made of magical stuff; where gold was fashioned from waste basket junk, where sapphires poured from the bathroom tap, where dreams bubbled in fairy wisps of kettle steam...

I shed my skin a dozen times. I ditched the DJ'ing, spent five years retraining as a psychotherapist. I never worked so hard; the late nights at college, weekend workshops, seminars, clients, personal therapy, essays, case studies; all juggled with full time jobs, those soul sucking rent payers. I found myself under proposition one warm July evening. A Friday. 'Would you marry me?' Younger Partner asked, propped on the edge of the chair opposite; his expression earnest, puppy dog eyed, a tad nervous. 'Pardon?' I replied, 'could you say that again?' 'Will you marry me?' he repeated, this time his cheeks burning lanterns, 'Er... er... yes, yes of course I will marry you.' I exchanged Ms for Mrs. Under the living room beams, early March gliding through the panes, my best lady and I were plucked, pruned, kneaded and painted; two wedding dollies immaculately sculptured for a big big day. I grew a bump, solid with fluctuation and hard movement. The day I carried her over the threshold, into the living room, it was if she'd always been with us; right from the very beginning. I battled the closing walls of post natal illness; our home a muted sunken place; my life pre-baby, a flaky shadow, alien, a distant memory. I began writing. This. A blog. A new existence; words, words, words... and I bade farewell to my thirties; hello to middledom and swathes of silver hair. (and cake).

There were parties; Younger Dad's infamous thirtieth. The beer stains. The bass. A five course New Years bash. A first birthday, a second...

And almost a year ago, after the sign said sold and the paperwork cleared, we moved.

So much change, different people.


Once Upon A Time

If you like my writing, you could do two wonderful things for me (pretty please);
1. Vote for me in the MADS (best writer). 2. Preorder my anthology, Seasons Of Motherhood (published in March). Thank you.

30 comments:

  1. Gorgeous, gorgeous writing xx

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  2. Beautiful writings (as always) to describe the most wonderful-sounding flat in the world! How could you leave?!

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    1. Thank you very much - we had to leave in the end as we needed the space, and for a better school for Little A :o).

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  3. Wonderful writing, you swept me through your life at that flat as if in a dream. I love your economy of expression to reveal such huge events, emotions. X

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    1. Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed it, and I like to choose my words carefully (LOL).... X

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  4. That's captivating. What a lovley way to tell the story of your home together x

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    1. Thank you very much.... it was a fab home while it lasted but it was the right time to move on in the end. X

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  5. You always write to eloquently - Loved reading those details about your old flat that way - how you used to view it vs how you did when you left it. Massive changes - and a fantastic life :) XXX

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    1. Thank you very much my dear.... it started out as a party flat, ended as a family home; a lot of change in quite a short space of time; a good life indeed. X

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  6. I just dreamed of London last night! I love your flat, so much light - I could live there very happily too.

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    1. Thank you very much... the light was what made the decision for me too!

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  7. Love it! If walls had ears... Also love the fact that you asked for a repeated proposal, I did that and some friends are shocked for some reason.

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    1. Thank you.... and as for the proposal, I had to check my ears - had I heard him straight? So I had to ask him again :o).

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  8. Oh wow Sarah, just wonderful words so beautifully put together - as always a pleasure to read. How exciting about Anthology, you must be thrilled x

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    1. Thank you very much.... I am excited about my anthology but I am only self publishing it; it's coming out in the next couple of weeks :o) X.

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  9. Loved this S. Beautiful! Reminded me of my very first flat with my other half in Twickenham. We had good friends living in Chiswick then, and went out there quite a lot. I wonder if we "bumped into each other" without knowing it... :D xx

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    1. Thank you very much.... were you near the rugby stadium? West London rocks. We used to go into Chiswick loads, and I wouldn't be surprised if we did bump into each other unknowingly.... sat at adjacent tables in a restaurant or a pub! X

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  10. Oh, fabulous! Than you for a wonderfully written trip down your memory lane. Sounds and looks like an amazing flat and that it was eventually time to move on? A psychotherapist, eh? You never cease to amaze! Great to learn something new about you.... xx Jazzy

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    1. Thank you lovely! It was a pretty good trip down memory lane for me too. It was a great flat but was also the absolute right time to move on... I'm full of secrets me :o). X

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  11. Beautiful post. Homes are definitely more than bricks and mortar. They have their own character and atmosphere. Some feel so right and others sap your spirit. Have you read The Philosophy of Architecture by Alain De Botton? You'd like it I think.

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    1. Thank you very much, and indeed they are.... they are the provider and holder of so many memories. Eventually, it was the right time to move and I love where we live now. Would be keen to read that book - thank you for the suggestion.

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  12. I loved reading about your happy memories of your flat. It looks and sounds fabulous. I'm a great believer in light - I think lots of light space helps to make a happy home. Wonderfully written - as ever. x

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    1. It was a lovely little flat and a great location.... space and light really does it for me in a home, especially light; nice and airy. Thank you lovely lady! X

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  13. Your storytelling is so magical...
    Wonderful flat too. xx

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    1. Thank you very much, that's very kind. It was a fab flat! X

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  14. I love this post so much. *Alchemy* is exactly right - you somehow manage to write about something everyday in a way that's absolutely magical. Moving house is such a strange thing isn't it. So emotional at the time, and then with time to reflect you realise that you hold onto all the important memories, regardless of where your bricks and mortar are. xxx

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    1. Thank you very much lovely, you're too kind :o). It was very emotional at the time, but when it was all packed up, just a load of boxes standing in the living room, it wasn't really home anymore - it was all inside my head. X

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  15. That ceiling! I would be a house for that ceiling. And light is so important. I always spend more time in the rooms that are brighter. You must have such nice memories of being there. But you have a new home now and plenty of time to make equally as lovely memories there too.

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    1. That was the clincher for me.... the ceiling, the open space and light - I knew it was the one as soon as I walked into that living room. Definitely have nice memories from being there, but as you say, making fab memories in our new home too!

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